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Portly and perfect as a pet |
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Kiss Me, I'm a pig |
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I won't urinate indoors |
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I'm a fatback |
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TOY
Caltoy UJ Pigs
- New Import |
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The Pig as Friend
©NCS:
The pig is a beautiful animal. Big bellied, full of
vigor, and armed with an enormous appetite, a pig
makes a wonderful pet and a lifelong companion. Pet
it and pig'll purr oink like a well
oiled engine. Stumble home from a hard day at work and
it'll run up to the door like Lassie. Pour some
food in its feed bowl and watch it gratefully wolf that slop
down with wild abandon while chunks slosh on the
floor. Pigs are crazy like that.
When you're down and on the outs, look over at its beady eyes, its
rosy rouge cheeks, and outrageous girth. When the
visual impact of the pig hits your cortex, grin in your
crooked Grinch-like manner and realize that all is
good in the world. Pig is your friend and emotional
sponge.
Inconsequential Anecdote
At a petting farm once, a friend went over to greet a pig that was
locked in a pen. The pig poked its snout through the
fence in a most vigorous manner. She figured that it
was hungry and she was about to give piggie the
Snickers bar that was in her bag but a farmhand (he
looked like a farmhand because he wore overalls and
plaid) barked out that chocolate
could potentially kill it. The exchange that
followed went something like this:
Friend: "Why don't you feed it since it seems
like it's starving."
Farmer: "Aw,
they're like that all the time. Pigs don't have a
hypothalamus."
Friend: "You mean a pig can't tell when its
belly is full?"
Farmer: "That's
right. A pig can eat and eat and eat."
Friend: "So, that's where we get the saying
about gluttons... and pigs."
Farmer: "Ayep.
If you want to feed her, you can get a potato from
the farmer's market. She loves those."
Friend went and got two potatoes. The pig inhaled the first one and
it drank a little water from a trough. It
then looked up expectantly, as if it could smell the
second potato. As friend gave piggie the second
potato, we watched it gobble the spud up as chunks
of potato valiantly escaped from its voracious maw. As it was
gobbling, the pig proceeded to urinate briskly. Chew.
Urinate. Chew. Trickle. Chew. Done.
The NCS Pitch
While the Caltoy Pig Plush won't urinate on your furniture, it will
provide warmth and chuckles in your home. Don't
forget the friendship. Measuring a massive 18" in
length, 12" in height, and 10" in width, the
pigs cost a small fortune to import into the U.S.
but we
figure the Caltoy Pigs were worth the ransom we paid
to release them from airport storage. The pigs
shipped in a cardboard box that would hold a small
car. And a refrigerator. The fur on the pig is silky
smooth to the touch. Repeat: Silky. Smooth.
One customer summed it up well when she proclaimed
the following:
"It was like running my hands
through silk!"
- Veleda Johnson
Pricing is set at US$49 and four color variants are available -
Cream, Pink, Yellow, and Brown. Collect them all and
create a big pig family in your living room. Thanks
to its large size, the pig would also work well as a
pillow. |
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